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Real Talk, Big Dreams: Guiding Teens Toward Careers with a Mom’s Heart and a Teacher’s Wisdom
Amanda McCammon, Indiana Partnerships and Special Projects at The DeBruce Foundation
Let’s be honest—career chats with teens are kind of like texting them—they might see it, they might ignore it, and they’ll definitely respond when they feel like it. Ask too many questions, and you get the dreaded eye roll. Offer too much advice, and you’re instantly tuned out. As a 20-year veteran educator and a mom of 4 teens, I’ve learned that the key isn’t having all the answers — it’s knowing how to start the right conversations, at the right time, in the right way.
In this post, I’ll share practical tips for opening meaningful career conversations with teens that feel more like support and less like pressure, because guiding them toward their future shouldn’t mean pushing them away in the process.
Questions That Spark Real Conversations
Career conversations with teens aren’t just about ‘what they want to be’ — they’re a chance to help them figure out who they are, one good question at a time. Focusing your guiding questions on how they envision their future self will help them to identify key factors that they desire for their life as a working adult. Encouraging teens to imagine what their future self might feel, value, or be proud of is a creative — and surprisingly effective — way to help them figure out what they truly want from a career.
Here are some guiding questions to help you get the conversation started:
- “When do you feel most proud of yourself?”
- “If money and time weren’t an issue, what would you spend your days doing?”
- “What kind of problems do you like to solve?”
- “If you could try any job for a day, what would it be?”
- “What would a ‘great day at work’ look like for you in the future?”
- “Is there a big goal or dream you’ve been thinking about but haven’t shared?”
- “What kind of work feels meaningful to you?”
- “Do you see yourself in a big team, or more doing your own thing?”
- “If someone paid you to learn something for a year, what would you pick?”
- “What’s one small step you could take toward something you’re interested in?”
- “Is there anything that’s been stressing you out about the future?”
Teach your Teen to Embrace the Twists and Turns
Developing a fulfilling career path is a lifelong journey that more often than not ends up quite differently than it was originally imagined. When helping teens with career planning, remember your own personal journey and how many twists and turns you may have faced. What was your original plan? Did it stay the same, or did it change? Consider how your original career plan evolved as you learned more about yourself and your dreams, and use your wisdom to equip your teen for the journey.
Although drafting a plan is key to success, this plan should serve as a living document that will be modified as unexpected opportunities emerge and unique lived experiences occur throughout their life.
The Perfect Time… is in the Everyday Moments
Stop waiting for the perfect time, setting, or opportunity to have the career conversation, as I am sorry to say it, but it will never come. Consider ways to use everyday moments as openings. A short car ride, walks, or watching a show together are great low-pressure moments to sneak in a brief conversation. Teens often open up when they don’t feel cornered — or stared at from across the dinner table.
Once you get started, it is easy to get carried away and end up overwhelming them or simply causing them to tune out. Teens process better in small doses — think meaningful mini-conversations, not full-blown seminars. Take advantage of phone-friendly platforms like YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. According to The DeBruce Foundation’s research on How to Talk with Youth About Careers, youth view the world through a 3-inch screen, and a significant number of youth say they would not bother exploring an issue if they could not use their phone. So, use social media to your — and your teen’s — advantage.
Offer Reality Checks Without Roadblocks
Don’t be afraid of having tough conversations. Teens sometimes have unrealistic career expectations involving less-than-likely career paths (like becoming a professional athlete even though they have never played sports). When this happens, lean in by providing a data-backed reality check for them, and affirm the skills they’re great at and enjoy using. If they’re not sure, I’d recommend taking the Agile Work Profiler© – it’s a quick, online career assessment that will ask them questions and help them identify the work skills they’re best at and enjoy most right now. It’s low-pressure, free, and can give you some language to talk about these skills together.
When my twins realized how much they both loved organizing the Riley Dance Marathon event while getting to serve and care for others, we talked about how valuable those skills are in so many different career fields. The Occupation Explorer is a good next tool for this type of conversation, as it helps them explore multiple career paths, and their salaries, based on the skills they know they like using.
If they’re up for it, encourage your teen to look into the future a bit – is this sector growing, or shrinking? With the Opportunity Explorer, they can check out the fastest growing occupations, and you ensure they are considering both current and projected job availability.
Foster an Open Conversation
Inadvertently, teens will be uninterested in careers you are certain they should consider, while becoming hyper-focused on careers that you can’t imagine them pursuing. This situation can be quite challenging, but do your best to let the young person explore ideas freely without judgment. Remember, this is about their dreams for their life, not yours.
Additionally, they may or may not be interested in college; research shows that youth today have a more nuanced view of four-year degrees – and they want to ensure the cost is worth what they will gain. Help them explore the many paths that they can take to reach their goals.
Offer suggestions based on your deep understanding of who they are, but allow their ideas to drive the conversation, even if they come as a surprise. Talk with them, not at them, and make it a two-way exchange. This truly should be a conversation, not a lecture. Share stories about your own career path — including the doubts, pivots, and unexpected wins, but read the room, and don’t bore them to death!
Our Role is Vital
The DeBruce Foundation’s 2024 survey of 600 youth, aged 13-19 across the country, showed that 51% of teens are considering 2 or fewer careers, despite the Bureau of Labor Statistics finding that the average American will have 12 different jobs in their lifetime. And, 49% have little to no idea about how to prepare for a career, lacking the tools or opportunity to do so. It’s up to us – the adults in their lives – to help them dream, explore, plan, and step into their careers.
It’s Worth It
Being on this journey with the teens in your life, as a guardian or mentor, can feel overwhelming and even frustrating at times, but it can also be extremely rewarding. Remember to reassure them that they do not have to have their entire life planned out yet and that this is merely the beginning of a beautiful journey. Even when it feels as though they don’t appreciate your guidance or that they have had enough, don’t let it stop you. Keep going, it’s worth it, and they really do need you.
